kittenwthclaws

so i recently got a job as a waitress at bob evans. today was my first day by myself on the floor. i messed up several things- got crabbed at by customers a few times but everyone left me a good tip .. i guess lol. my cook messed up my first order of the day. i wanted to cry and go home lol. luckally the guest didnt say anything :) everyone kept asking if i need help (my co workers) and my super sweet manager marion kept asking me how i was .. if i needed help stuff like that. when i had questions- my co workers were there to answer them for me . which made it alot easier.
other then getting moaned and groaned at for not knowing the menu (im trying to learn it, but its a slow process. i have the entire menu typed up in my ticket book with everything it comes with)
i dont know if im going to stay yet because its SOOOO hard and im clumbsy. well see. sunday is our busiest day and im scareddd! the other sever who started with me has severd b4 so shes all like laaadee fucking da. i bought some of the memory foam insoles for my shoes. they work pretty good as long as im moving around. they also have these gel ones that are for work. anybody ever tried those? i have foot soak too. ahh.
can i hear some horror stories from other waitresses so i feel better ? thanks

so i work at a baby store and we have a baby registry, which i work sometimes. When you come up to the desk you need to know ONE of the followng
*the last name*
*the registry number*
*telephone number*

i have people all the time who come to the desk and do this exact thing:

Me= er me?
RL= Registry lady

Me: Hi do you need a registry?
RL: Yes
Me: Okay whats the last name?
RL; I have no idea. Her first name is Molly.
Me: (dumbfounded look on my face... Pulls up MOLLY in OHIO . Only 211 names to work with, she got really pissy when i told her i couldnt look it up by the event date... considering the registrants dont even give that to us)

I mean your coming to pick up a gift, and you need to print out the registry, but you know hte first name and NO idea what the last name is? WTF?
and you want me to do what??

i have been overlly crabby this week, and i need to apologize especially to my family and brendan. Im sorry babe.
Just little things , about ready to made me start twitch. things/people at work. like getting written up for being 30 seconds late? gay.
overloaded with homework. doing really bad in math, but understanding the material, doesnt make any sense to me either.
my dad finally got a date set for his social security trial. mid november. the attorney person said theres a 98% chance itll go through, and they might even call him the day before and say it went through and theres nothing to worry about. Weve been lied to before. and even if she is being truthful, our luck is we will get stuck with that 2%. My dad does not even want to think about that possibility, nor do i. Right now me and my sister are contributing to bills and whatnot. Without us (like one day if i ever move out, or my sister jumps off a cliff) they couldnt make it. So id get stuck living with my parents till im old and wrinkly...hmm. thats a scary though.
But if he does get it, i get all my rent money back with interest, and help financially getting a car.

Brendan...
I am honestly sorry for how I have been acting this week. There is NO exuse for my behavior. I know you havent been in the best mood either, so i think we are just setting eachother off.
I love you so much. You are my world, my life =D
I love you more, and imashimo!!! December 27th weve been together for a year :)
biotches :-p

time only time
could never take me away from you
and why should it try?
time never cares just what we do
it just sits on a star and gazes down
dropping its moments all around
and if i could wish upon that star
i would find what you dream, and then ask god to grant it.
Ive wanted to say this long before this dark would fall.
And at night i would pray this and wonder if god heard at all.

^^^ for boo bear.

later homies :)

i dont know what it is , but latley i have felt really close to brendan. like before i go to bed, i have to look at pictures of him on my phone , or i cant sleep. but he still to this day is the greatest mani have ever met in my life. we have been together for almost 9 months now.. wow. he got me all this beautiful stuff for my birthday and we had a picnic on the beach. and then the seagulls attacked us..and considering i dont like birds. yeah.

anywho- my friend christina just moved down to nelsonville , oh to go to college. yeah exciting.

then today i went out to dinner with brendan, his friend tina, and her boyfriend harold. shes been wanting to meet me forever. he said id be shy, which i was. the entire night neither of them, said an entire word to me. so im afraid she doesnt like me :-/
but we made a fun potato person and a potato vagina...on its rag. ew.
poor waitresses
i have to work tomororw. i really dont want to. maybe itll set on fire. BOOM . still have to write that letter to jon. jesus im a procrastinator.
grrrr

ive been meaning to write in this stupid thing but i really see no point! i just had 3 teeth filled today and im in quite a great deal of pain.
im still at babies r us, why, i dont know. still the same old shitty hours. Oh but wait i got a raise of 26 cents.
I saw willy wonka the other night with brenny, it was cute =D it was nice to get out of the house!
Me and him are doing wonderful, almost been dating for 7 months.
Yep thats about it.

latley ive been trying to do something that i never do, socialize with people i dont know, or dont know very well. its over the computer but still very hard for me. ive had nothing but bad luck with this. i found a few people on myspace that i was kinda friends with in high school, imed them, got into a conversation with them, and i really feel like they have no interest in talking to me whatsoever, but just dont want to hurt my feelings. id rather have my feelings hurt then feel like an idiot. i dont see what im doing wrong either, i mean im starting a conversation that they are fimilar with, question there comments so the conversation doesnt become dead ended and it continues. but then they say they have to go, and it strikes me. i really wanna get drunk right now. and go into work tomorrow hungover so they will fire me. the goddamn place gave me 8 hours , i asked for gee 30-35? I CANT LIVE ON 8 HOURS! And the dumb fucks keep hiring more people, giving everyone crappy hours. Oh and this month is my 1 year anniversary so i get a big fat raise of like 20 cents. big fucking deal. my first raise. one day ima go into work with a gun and go on a shooting rampage. starting out by shooting jen, then after she is dead repeatidly hitting her head with the barrel of the gun. yes im a looney, but a frustrated one! they treat me so crappy sometimes, and i work my butt off and still get bitched at. AND MIGHT I ASK, DOESNT ANYONE SPEAK ENGLISH ANYMORE??? everyone who came in and asked me a question spoke very little english. i cant stand it. go to wal mart.

then these horrible pains where my ovaries are is going on and off. im going into the doctors on the 8th, hopefully they dont tell me i have a cyst. if i need surgury and i tell my work theyll say "oh well were gona have to write you up for missing work" at that point, id quit.
alot of personal stuff going on that i really dont feel like discussing.


-build a new god, to medicate, and to hate-

found out a few days ago my dad has diabetis, hes not very happy about it either. gotta eat all this healthy crap. i told him it was a good thing to happen because he needs to get healthy. went to the dentist yesterday and got the big hole in my face fixed, they put a crown on it. it still hurts, cuz i guess they had to pull the gum over the tooth, better then the hole i suppose.
took brendans 4 littel cousins to mccdonalds today to get a happy meal. i was very dissapointed on how i was treated :( bunch of little brats. but oh well, they had fun, that was my goal!
me and my baby are doing wonderfully. ive never felt like this before, and i hope everyone gets to feel like this once in there life. i miss him every second were apart, and every second were together is pure bliss. Bliss is not a good enough word, think of the happiest word in the world and multiply it by 10000. Thats how i feel! Gotta work till 3:30 tomrrow then gona go look at cars with the boyfriend. He got a loan to get a new car YAY BABY
if only i had a car. im saving my money though. I sold my car for parts, so that helped a tiny tiny bit.
No baby yet, theresa still has yet to burst, im feeling bad for her about now

this past week has been draining but yet i dont know why. my meds are really fucking me up. anywho, the othernight brendans old little tiny tiny dog spent the night, coughing ALL night in my room. I got a good 2 hours of sleep. then I worked friday, that was when he spent the night. Didnt have to work saturday. today i worked open to close, and did not sleep good again. so right now im running on umm *looks at package* sour brite crawlers? in other news, i sold my car today for a whopping 200$. still need to get my warranty for me radio, my father is insistant upon him taking care of it, but whatever thats a whole nother story >=)

this week
lots of geography questions
paper for english
go to tri-c tomorrow to drop shit off
doctors tuesday
doctors wednesday
work wednesday
work friday
get some sleep sounds good right now.
i honestly cant stay awake for another 10 minutes without getting a migrane.

Well 2 days ago, I got a new cell phone through cingular. I got the plan so i can talk to brendan for free as much as i want :x Its pretty its a samsung. It was only 50$. Besides that, we finally got a washing machine. No more handwashing yay. Somebody is coming to look at my car on saturday, and im not working. Scary. Doing homework right now.
booooooooo. Been sick latley :( brendans grandma died the other day, and i went to t he wake and spent the night, but was too sick to make it to the funeral.

Yep. Life is boring.

today was a really bad day. it started last night , me and brenny went to get ice cream and i noticed my brakes felt like i had air under them. and it was really hard to stop , it took forever. so my dad found out it was my brake fluid, changed it and blew the whole line. today we took it in to get an estimate. they said all the 5 lines that run under my car were rusted, and the thingy u put gas in car thru, was compelty rusted and i wouldnt be able to put gas in my car much longer. they said they wouldnt even bother putting the money into it. so , were gona junk her and see if we can get any money out of her.
so , i have no car. goodie. my boyfriends car is also broken. i need MONEY really bad. im debating on taking out a loan and getting a newer car. i also made a goal june 21st will be my 1 year anniversary at Bru (also getting a raise of like a nickel) and if im there that much longer, I intend to try to get the supervisor position =D (by shooting andrea of course)
tomrorwo i have to work, and its supposed to storm so hopefully it will be dead and ill get to go home. my dad said i should sell my radio for like 60$ right now i need every cent.

money sucks
i love y0u brenny <3 your one of the few good things in my life right now.

thank god no more snow. im enjoying the sunshine by going to clean the dog shit today.
starting irish dancing, should be fun.
found out the accident might have been theguys fault after all, cuz he was speeding.. but my uncle thinks they might give me a ticket anyway to get the money outa me ( like i have any). my job blows. my boyfriend rocks.
money blows. school blows, which ineed to do some of that today.
wonder if the boyfriend wants to go out for ice cream. call him and see. he can help clean up the dog poop too.
baby shower yesterday was fun! they got lots of shit. hoping the baby comes soon, im getting impatient.

yesterday- was bad. i went to the petstore , well was trying to. and was turning left and some asshole running the light hits my car head on. the copper is gona call me and tell me its gona go to the prosecuter cuz apparently the witnesses said we were both at fault. So its gona take 210$ to fix my fucking car. ontop of almost 200$ due for car insurance the 17th, gotta pay the cell bill, and my sister off. I have about 150$ TOTAL. im selling all my ballet stuff , which total adds up to 75$ minus s&h.
but besides that things are just DANDY. not..
money BLows i hate it. god damnit. might as well jsut shoot myself in my fucking head cuz of fucking money. i bombed my math test. prolly gona have to take it this summer. poop
shoot me peeze

last week sucked huge fat celulitly ass! i had a mad ass flare up with my guts, and was pretty much bed ridden for a couple of days. im a lot better now, and i hope i stay that way. missed two days of work cuz of my stupid tummy. going to the doctors soon, prolly gona wana do a colonoscopy.
easter was ok, kinda eh boring. brendan and i went over to my aunts for dinner and fell alseep on the couch. then he came over for a little bit and we just sat around and ran the b.s. he gave me candy! so did his mommy (yummy)
my parents think i should get a new job cuz the physical labor of my job seems to aggrivate my guts, which is not good when u gotta sit down at work cuz ur in so much pain :( ive been trying to take my 12 pentasas a day, but that dont leave me too much time for anything else.
waititng for brenny to come back from the cemetary so i can do my laundry!
then tomrorow i got lots of homework to do after classssssssss.
finding neverland came out , must rent and watch again!
probablly not going to be able to go camping with christina after recent gut issues. :( :( gona go baby shopping this saturday with b and his grandma.
i hate holidays, they are so fattening ;x

wow i havent written in this for a while. lets see. yesterday i tried corn beef for the first time and DAMN was it good. Today i had to work... and my guts are acting up really bad. In a lot of pain right now, and i gotta work an 8 hour tomorrow :( then before work, i decided to take out my third earing in my ear, majorly infected. huge fucking lumps behind my ears. no wonder they hurt so bad :-/
i dyed my hair purple, well it was purple a few days ago. it kinda faded to a purple-red. bertha (my car) has bad ball joints, and gona get the exhaust system done. brendan is gona fix the ball joints tomrrow , then ima get her back!!! then ima go to some place to get the exhaust system done with my loads of money,. right.
been working 20 hours a week and it sucks. in june ive been there for a fucking year. boo.
grandmas birthday today, shes a million years old :x

well in more depressing news : i think my crohns has spread more twords my left side, cuz im feeling alot of pain over there now too. not good =(

next sunday 3 months baby =)
yeah i gotta go shower now cuz i smell =x

i think i need energy pills or something. ive been really worn down and feel like doing nothing but sleeping. even when i work out i still feel like that. not even caffeine or candy wakes me up. very strange.
anywho, i went to brendan grandpas funeral and wake. very sad very very sad. i admit i cried :-/ i spent the night cuz i had to leave there at 9am on monday, and figured i wouldnt be up. brendan gave me a necklace with two hearts one with my name and one with his for "being there for him". i wish he wouldnt have given me anything, i dont feel like i helped him.
been meaning to call christina but havent.
my car needs a new exhaust pipe and ball joints, brendans gona do it for me (yay).
getting very sick of the winter. i hate the heat, but ill admit im looking foward to a little sunshine. the wind was brutual coming out of school today. it was a good 3/4 of a mile walk to my car to the school with the blistering cold wind hitting my face. i came in and literally could not feel my face.
still looking for another job...
when the fuck did nerd become so fruity tasting? i dont like it . lol.

:( well tuesday brendans uncle died, and then last night his grandpa died. i had to work till 10 and had a voicemail. It was brendan in tears telling me his grandpa passed. I called him the second i got it. Then for a while after, and asked him if he wanted me to come over so I did about 1am. I spent the night, got up around 11 then me and him went to a couple different stores, and then out to lunch at 3 . Then I took him over to his cousins and went home. Hes doing a lot better then he was last night, im glad I was able to be there for him. Theres nothing I wouldnt do for him , i mean nothing. Im always there for him when he needs me, and i always will be.
Anywho: IM ready to start a mass shooting at my job. these 2 dumb bitches on wed at 9:30 (when we close) decided to fix their registry, GUESS WHO WAS AT THE REGISTRY DESK!? spent a good 20 minutes with them listening to them decide between small and mediums. Then my managers came over at 10 till 10 and asked if there was aprobelm. The lights then were almost all off , they were on a timer. My manager mumbled over me "jesus christ" the lady kept saying "come on mom, were keeping them here lets let them go home" and her mom kept saying "no they can do it" grr. so at 9:58 i finally got off work lol. then in my way to work this guy is pushing in acart and asked if i needed a carti said No i work here. Then hes like ok, and when we got into the store he said "the correct response would have been ill take that for you" prick. lol
people suck >=*(
yeah my life is so exciting.

Bad bad past week. Last Sunday, the weather was bad, so I spent the night at Brendans house. I went home around 11:30 the next morning. Then his mom calls me the next night saying his grandpa (in a nursing home with altizhmers) was not doing well at all. She asked me if I could come and support brendan and take him to the nursing home, as she did not want him driving after finding out. So I did, I drove out there and took him to the nursing home. It was very sad. Brendan says his goodbyes, and he cried into my arms for a good 10 minutes. I left there about 1:15 and took brendan home, then went home. Had to get up at 8:00 the next morning to finsih my stupid project. Brendan keeps talking about his grandpa and how he doesnt want him to die, and I feel bad that theres nothign I can say or do that will make him feel better.
Then thursday night, my dad got a phone call from my aunt pats daughter. My aunt pat, earlier that day had her last rites, and passed away shortly after that :( I was fine, as was/is my dad. But that night I was up for a few hours just thinking about how much more I could have done for her, and i felt so guilty. I had intentions on visiting her, But I have a bad cold and didnt think it would be the best idea to go into a Hospice with lots of germs to spread around. My dad is surprisingly still doing great, he talks about it very openly. Last night we had a sayonce with my family, and I had a personal reading. I guess during the sayonce an elder lady came through wanting someone to know she didnt suffer. We figured it was my aunt pat. She didnt suffer, except for maybe 2 days. But I know she was suffering emotionally. She was a great woman, and I will miss her very much. Tomorrow is the wake, and tuesday is the funeral. I have never seen or been to a funeral of anyone I know. There only having an open casket for the immediate family, im very scared. I dont know why. Tuesday I have a test and e-mailed my teacher, and if he still gives me a 10% penalty ill be pissed.
Other than that, I worked today. Worked my little butt off. I sat down for about 5 minutes and got yelled at by my boss. I cant wait to find another job.
RIP AUNT PAT- You will be dearly missed by your friends and family. We love you.

me tired. had to work yesterday 11:30-8 n today 12-5. my sister moved back home yesterday, its not going that bad iguess. but its fucking snowing again grrr. Dont have much to say here except i hate my job. Some customer came up to me and asked me a question and then said "I hate this store" i started to walk away, turned back and said "so do i " .
I just wana stay in my bed all day today and fucking sleep. God i wana call off work
Its 11am. In an hour, my personal hell will begin.

Valentines day was SPECTACULAR! Brendan cooked me dinner (the best ribs ive ever had) and gave me a gift card for build a bear , and were gona go there together and make a teddy bear ! (fyi: i collect teddy bears) I got a big surprise for him tomorrow for his birthday :-D
Anywho I baught saw the other day and watched it with brendan. damn is that a good movie.
Also have some drama with brendans friends who are pissing me off to an extreme... they are insulting me left and right, so of course i stood up for myself. hmmm. lets see what else. Brendans birthday tomorrow, gotta work saturday 11:30-8 (boo) and sunday prolly workin, and dinner & cake at brennys. but im really tired today, i dont know why . so i think im going to nap, because brennys workin on his car :( hes gottta work @ 5
thats about all thats in my exciting life. well christina called me about going camping this summer. theres a few things keeping me back from going. work, money, my joints (lots of bike riding) my health (poor latley) and my health is a huge reason why i know my mom will tell me i cant go. well see its not till mid may. oh yeah, one more reason. somebody i really dont like is going , LISA. ew
c'est le vie!
<3 u brenny!
*kisses my ring*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

went to the doctors. turns out nothing seriously is wrong with me, besides the fact i cant hear in my left ear. have to work tonight, and tomrorow then hanging out with my baby going to victorias secret.
we went to ambiance the other day and got some stuff. heh. that stores funny. there was an old dude looking at weenies. anywho... my dogs not feeling well, dont know why. it was snowing the other day, and i was pissed! I feel this summer is gona be a scrocher (sp) i know ill complain about it then, but heat sounds really good right now.
Valentines day is monday! Im so excited to see wut brennys got planned! Hmmm. I shold probablly call diana :-/